I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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