I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
