Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
