I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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