Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Randomize
