Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
