i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
