what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
