Are we in a gay sports bar?
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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