She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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