return my video game
wanna go halves on a baby?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I am available for nakedness
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
