Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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