you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
