I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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