I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Boobs speak an international language.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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