I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
