Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
