Already got asked if we're dating
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
