Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss vodka workout Fridays
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
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and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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