I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
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