i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
When are your genitals available?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
