she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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