So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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