They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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