Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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