went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
