I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
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