The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
my poor anus
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
