i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
