I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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