and my herpes radar will keep us safe
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
