Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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