mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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