1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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