we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
