We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You can't just leave with hair like that
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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