why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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