before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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