im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
