i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Come share oat with me in your robe
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
