Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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