How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
