i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
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