Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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