It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
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