"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
