I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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