Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
