I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
