Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
