Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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