soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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