I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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