Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
