Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
