Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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