we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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