Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
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