playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
