i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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