just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
