things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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